


The Heart

by Starship21ZedNA9



Category: Trailer Park Boys
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:23:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3093362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starship21ZedNA9/pseuds/Starship21ZedNA9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set just after the boys are thrown back in jail at the end of Shit Blizzard.  Ricky and Julian talk some things out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart

It was dark in the cramped cell by the time he heard the unmistakable sound of Ricky being lead down the hall. Julian lay on the bottom bunk staring up at the questionable stains on the mattress above him. He silently let out a relieved breath at Ricky’s defiant ranting. He consciously chose not to move. Normally, Ricky’s barely coherent shouting was a pain in the ass but at that moment, it was music to his ears. But he wouldn’t let himself show that to his friend. The cell door slid open and Ricky was clumsily shoved inside.

“Oh, and fuck off!”

“Shut up, Ricky,” sighed the guard.

“Looking good, Julian,” he added before making his retreat.

Ricky didn’t seem to be able to respond to that. He leaned against the bars in frustration. When he was sure they were alone, Julian finally spoke up.

“It’s about fucking time, man. You’ve been gone for hours.”

Ricky jumped, noticing Julian for the first time.

“Sorry, man. They made me to see the doctor ‘cause of my heart and he exempted me.”

“How long does a fucking exam take?” 

Julian knew his voice was rising but he still refused to move or even look at Ricky.

“I don’t know! I’m not a doctor! He had to fix up Cory and Trevor too ‘cause the idiots got themselves shot.”

From the darkness two shaky voices rang out.

“Yeah, he said we were gonna be okay.”

“Yeah, thanks you guys.”

Ricky rolled his eyes and slammed his fist on the bars.

“Shut the fuck up, you two. It’s your fucking fault we’re even in here. I don’t want to hear you speak for the rest of the night. Go to sleep!”

“Shut up, Ricky! You’re gonna get the guards back here!”

“I came in here and you started yelling at me, you dick! Don’t be telling me to shut up! I was dead earlier, you know!”

That particular reminder made Julian snap upright toward Ricky. His blue eyes flashed with anger.

“Yeah, Rick! I know! I was fucking there!”

Ricky shrugged in confusion.

“Yeah, so? What’s that supposed to mean, Julian?”

“It means I don’t want to hear you whining about it for the entire time we’re in here, okay? I know what happened. You don’t have to keep bringing it up!”

“Whatever, man. I don’t know why you’re being such a dick.”

Julian looked down and shook his head. He didn’t really know why he was either. He was just stressed out. He lost the hash. He was back in jail. He hadn’t been able to see Ricky long enough to check on him since they got arrested. But, he didn’t want to talk about all that.

“So, what’d the doctor say,” he asked instead.

“Oh, that guy was fucked. Apparently, it’s a miracle that I’m alive. He’s never seen anything like it or whatever. And I’m supposed to drink less, do less drugs, and try to take care of myself gooder. But, what the fuck does he know?”

“Ricky, he knows a lot more about it than you do. He is a doctor.”

Ricky leaned back into the bars and closed his eyes. He was tired. Dying will do that to a person.

“Well, are you gonna do what he says,” Julian continued when he got no response.

“No, I’m not. I told you, that guy was fucked.”

Julian ran a rough hand over his face in frustration. 

“Smarten up, Ricky. Do you want to have another heart attack? You could at least stop drinking as much.”

“You drink more than I do! You’re drinking right now!”

Julian glanced down at the glass in his hand. 

“That’s different, Ricky. I also work out. And I didn’t just have a heart attack. You’re gonna keep on living this way and risk having another one? You want to do that to Trinity? Or to Bubbles?”

“Don’t fucking do that! I’m a great father and a great friend so fuck off!”

“Who’s gonna have to take care of everything if you get yourself killed? Me, that’s who! And I’m not doing it, Ricky. Just forget about it.”

“Good. Don’t. I don’t need you to do anything for me or my family. You know, you’re being really selfish. You should be a little nicer to me right now. In case you forgot I was DEAD earlier.”

Julian’s hand tightened so hard around his glass, he thought for a moment it would burst. Dealing with Ricky his entire life, it was a wonder that he hadn’t had a heart attack first. 

“Didn’t I just get finished telling you to not be bringing that up every five minutes? Huh? Are you gonna stand there all night or are you gonna come over here?”

“I don’t want to go over there. You’re being a grumpy fuck. And it’s really pissing me off, to be honestly.”

The two could barely see each other in the darkness but Julian could imagine Ricky was rolling his eyes at him. He was prepared for more shouting from the other man, but he was met with a soft voice.

“Sorry, Julian. But dying is a transmitted experience. I gotta talk about it. I mean, it fucked me up.”

Julian stared down into his glass and mumbled.

“What was that?” 

Julian gathered his courage to look up, grateful that he couldn’t really make out Ricky’s face.

“I said it fucked me up too.”

Ricky didn’t understand a lot of things. Subtlety was never something he was able to pick up on. He sometimes had trouble with bluntness too. Even Julian, his best friend in the world, he didn’t always understand. But, at that moment, he got what Julian was saying. He knew why Julian was on such a short fuse.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Julian whispered. His face was turning red. Being vulnerable in front of Ricky was one thing. He usually didn’t notice. Being vulnerable in front of an aware Ricky was something he tried to avoid. Ricky could barely handle his own problems, let alone anyone else’s.

Ricky didn’t know how to make this better. He certainly hadn’t meant to die. He would have tried harder not to if he’d thought about all the people it would have hurt. 

“I mean, I’m not dead anymore.”

It was the best he could come up with.

“Show me.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean, come over here and show me that you’re still alive.”

Ricky smiled. If it would make Julian feel better. 

He walked over to Julian, tripping over himself only once on the way.

“Fuck!”

Julian’s hand was around his arm, pulling him up to the old beaten mattress.

“Easy, I got ya,” he chuckled. 

Their eyes finally met for the first time since Cyrus had started shooting up Sunnyvale. Ricky’s agitation seemed to settle under Julian’s soft gaze. Julian fiddled with his glass for a moment before reaching a hand tentatively toward his friend. Ricky’s own hand collided with his and he pulled Julian the rest of the way to him. He placed Julian’s palm directly over his heart. Julian suppressed a shudder. Ricky’s heartbeat felt steady and calm and all kinds of things that Ricky wasn’t. Soon they were beating in time together. Julian smirked.

“I don’t know. It sounds pretty good to me.”

“See? I told you that doctor was fucked.”

Julian’s smirk faded. He let his hand drop down from Ricky’s chest. 

“Ricky, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For this whole mess, man. The hash, Cory and Trevor, and keeping your dad in jail. I guess I kind of fucked up.”

“Whoa. The great Julian admits that he fucked up. It’s a fucking marigold.”

“Come on. Don’t be a dick.”

“I guess I’m sorry too. I did sort of burn down my dad’s trailer. And I did die on you guys. Sorry about that.”

“You’ve gotta promise me you won’t do that again.”

“I promise. I’ll try for to not do so much not healthy stuff. Okay? I’ll try.”

“Yeah, and while we’re in here, I’m gonna be keeping an eye on you and making sure of it.”

“So, can we crash now? I’m fucking tired.”

“Go to sleep. You probably need it. I’m just gonna sit up for a while.”

Ricky eyed Julian suspiciously.

“Don’t sit up just worrying and shit, okay?”

“I’m just gonna try to come up with a new plan. That’s all.”

“Come on, man. Look, I know we’re in here and that sucks and you don’t like it. But, no plan’s gonna get us out tonight or tomorrow. Can’t you take one night and just be happy that everyone’s alive? For me?”

Julian tapped on his glass as if considering the notion. As if he didn’t do enough for Ricky already.

“You can even split that drink with me,” Ricky made a move for the glass.

Julian deftly avoided his grasp without spilling a drop.

“Ricky! What did we just get through talking about?”

“Yeah, but we’re in jail. It doesn’t count when we’re in jail.”

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll relax tonight if you start cutting back on the drinking and the dope tonight.”

Ricky grinned. Sure. Tonight. Tomorrow was a different story and what Julian didn’t know wouldn’t burn him.

“Fine. I call bottom bunk.”

“Rick, I’m already down here. I’ve been here all day.”

“Well, that’s not my fault.”

Ricky flopped down and stretched himself out on the bottom bunk, effectively pushing Julian off of the bed. Julian shook his head and climbed up to the top.  
He started up at the ceiling for a while, waiting until Ricky’s breathing started to even out.  
“Rick?”

Ricky snorted out of his half-sleeping state.

“Yeah? What?”

Julian licked his lips, nervously. Why was this so much easier to say with Bubbles?

“I just…I want to say…I love you, buddy.”

“Yeah, I love you too.”

Julian smiled; glad once again that Ricky couldn’t see his face. He closed his eyes and snuggled deeper into the mattress. Things could definitely be a lot worse.


End file.
